Sand and Soil

Dear God,

I am strongly affected by trials. When I was sick a few weeks ago, all my goals and driven nature blew out of orbit. I helplessly laid victimized on my bed. The world seems to end when I get sick. These self-made roots of goodness cannot stand amidst the storms.

A layer of sand covers my heart. As I cultivate fruit trees in my heart, it spreads its roots in the sand. But when unexpected hurricanes and storms howl, the sand is not strong enough to hold down the work I've done. The roots blow out of the sand and away from my heart...so much for that hard work...

Yet other fruit trees survive the storm. These trees grow their roots through the sand and into deep rich soil. You are that rich soil. Your richness provides a solid foundation for these trees to grow on. The storms may shake these fruit trees, but they survive. Only through you may these roots penetrate from the sand and into the soil.

I've been working so hard to grow good fruit. In my pride I didn't want to hand over my hard work to you. Yet self-cultivated fruit cannot survive the storms. I thought I can grow strong fruit trees with my own strength, but clearly that is not the case...

Lord, I give you all of my fruit trees. No matter how hard I try, I cannot build them as strong as you can. Plant these trees deep into my heart. I realize that fruit of the flesh is not biblical...only the fruit of the Spirit.

As for the weeds, blow them away in the storms. Sometimes, I unintentionally feed poisonous weeds until they grow into trees. They rest firmly on deep layers of sand. Yet in your mighty storms, you can uproot these evil trees and cast them into the fiery pits of hell.

I thank you for storms. Without storms I cannot see how great your goodness is to me. I cannot marvel at the strength of your solid foundation if you never blew away the outward sandy layer. I cannot be humbled at how weak I am in comparison to your mighty strength. I cannot desire turning the sand into soil. You in your richness pour your goodness and love into my malnourished, sandy self. Although I'll never be as rich as you, I can rest in the fact that you'll always be pouring yourself into me.  I am strong only because you give me strength.

In Your Name I Pray,
Amen.