Wanted and Loved

I own an amazing car! It is a 13 year old, 8 seater SUV. It is roomy, it has protected me for 13 years, it takes me where I need to go, and it has never broken down on me.

But the greatest feature is the 7 passenger seats. I can take 7 people to church, I can drive 7 people out to dinner, I can go on a road trip with 7 people, or I can go on an adventure with 7 passengers.

It's pretty awesome! Whenever I give rides, I get to know people that I wouldn't normally go out of my way to talk to. In addition, I provide a safe, social environment for people to bond, laugh at jokes, and even take naps.

Yet sometimes, I think I get jealous of my car. I know that's very silly, but hear me out. One of my college Christian friend groups have a lot of people in it. Yet in order to do stuff together, someone needs to give rides. Sometimes, I get invited to things more so for my car, not me. 

I was recently invited to an event. It seemed pretty exciting, so I agreed to go. But when I looked at its Facebook Event Page, I realized that they started inviting people three weeks ago. I was invited one night before the event...someone then asked me how many people I can fit in my car.

I told myself, "I'm only invited to this event because they want me to give rides. They do not actually want me, they want my services. I am not actually wanted." 

I made myself feel really sad. I allowed the facts (or what I knew at the surface level) to tell me how unloved I am.

I really wanted to be passive aggressive so I wouldn't cause any problems. I was tempted to make up a previous event that I forgot about, then flake out. But I knew I should address the truth. If I felt pain, yet I refused to take steps to cure it, I'd allow wounds to fester and build up. God gave me a heart to love him and love his people. Yet if my heart is wounded, it does not function as God intended. If I refuse to take care of my heart's wounds (due to my pride), I would allow myself to have an incorrect perception of love. I would be extremely irresponsible by not taking care of this God-given heart of mine. 

So I told him briefly how I felt. It's as if he jumped up and his eyes popped out of his head! He was so sorry and apologized for more than everything. Of course I forgave him! 

His apology opened my eyes to my broken, yet desperate heart for the love of Jesus. I allowed that event to define my self-worth for a bit. If I continued doing so, then my inner definition of love would be so far off from what it actually is! Jesus would have died on the cross for no reason!

Jesus loves me and everyone else so much that he bore all of our sins and died for us. He did not want us (his own creation) to be separated from the Creator (himself). He did not want us to eternally suffer for the sake of our own sin, although we deserve to. 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.-John 3:16-18

I believe in God's one and only Son. Therefore, I believe that I am so loved and so wanted, that someone died for my sake. I have to rest my heart on the gospel, which is the greatest act of love in the world.

I am loved and wanted. Thank you Jesus!