An Honorable Welcome Party

James 1:2-4 

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 

I made this YouTube video around Christmas time. However, I find it relevant to current circumstances. 

The post below, "The Devil Doesn't Want Me Here", describes the devil's Welcome Party for me into Los Angeles. The "party" was fearful, painful (emotional and physical), and filled with uncertainty. 

Yet I cannot think of a better Welcome Party than this...

The devil gave a similar Welcome Party to Jesus. Jesus' presence shook the devil's security. Through stratagems, the devil attempted whispering fear into both of our souls. He attempts transmitting his own fear into us. That doesn't work. It didn't work for Jesus and doesn't work for me. 

Our arrivals into the mission field were far from glamorous. Some go into Christian ministry, thinking the world will bow to their career decision. They may expect knights and trumpets welcoming them into their mission field. If the world gives acceptance and security, why bother seeking for the Lord's peace that surpasses all understanding?

The unfavorable circumstances created access to the Lord's rest and peace. It was an honor to painfully enter my mission field.

The Devil Doesn't Want Me Here

Last week, my fearful mother panicked.

"You know Taylor, if this whole Renew youth ministry thing doesn't work out, there's no failure in stopping and coming back home. Granite Bay is a lot safer and you'll be financially secure. Just come home and quit early so you can refund everyone's money."

The enemy gave me a long "Welcome Party" into Los Angeles. His itinerary included: a mentally unhealthy roommate, fear of being emotionally and verbally abused by the mentally unhealthy roommate, moving/running away from unhealthy roommate, not knowing where to go after running away from unhealthy roommate, moving into my aunt's couch, then catching and suffering the most painful virus/flu imaginable.

Mother heard my quivering voice as I hid in a bathroom shower corner. My heart broke when mentally unstable roommate called me an irresponsibly greedy manipulator. How could any of those words be true? None of them were. She held onto that conviction and never let me forget how she saw me. I couldn't stay there. I didn't feel safe.

For a moment, there was no way out. I sought housing opportunities, but no one responded. I was reminded of my aunt and uncle in Alhambra. After briefly sharing my experience, they immediately offered their couch. I rapidly packed everything I owned. I received final ungodly lies from emotionally unstable roommate, blocked her out of my life, and ran away from her hell hole.

My aunt and uncle opened their door to an emotionally shaken 23-year old. Through their prayers, hugs, and safe environment, God restored me. I shook off the dust from my feet and anticipated moving forward.

I live for Sunday mornings. The church is the most beautiful bride in the world and I have the honor of serving her. Two nights after moving in with my aunt, I prepared my Sunday outfit and went to bed early. My alarm was set to 6:00AM to leave Alhambra by 7:15AM, pick up my Echo Park friend at 7:30AM, then arrive church by 8:00AM.

I woke up earlier than my alarm. By early, I imply six hours early. My internal alarm clock was a nonstop gag reflex that emptied stomach components. If it were food poisoning, it would have stopped after the non-digestable food particles exited my body. At first I'm like, 'eh...this will stop and I can still go to church.' I was still throwing up stomach acid at 6:00AM. At 6:30 AM, I informed my Echo Park friend and the Children's Ministry Director about my health condition. I couldn't serve the beautiful bride that Sunday, and I was devastated.

Around 7:00AM, I mustered enough energy to pick up two ginger ales, two gatorades, and electrolyte water from 7-Eleven. My first gatorade sips were the first accepted body fluids in 7+ hours. My burning body temperature shivered after sipping refreshing fluids. The gag reflex stopped, but the enemy was not done with me.

Body parts writhed in agony: my upper arms, entire core, upper legs. Everywhere burned in pain. After hours of attempted comfort positions, I finally screamed.

God please make him stop. It hurts. It hurts. Why does it hurt? Why is this pain allowed? I guess I don't have to know why. The enemy is a cowardly lying bully. The coward cannot make me curse my Lord. I will not give into his ways. I hold fast to my righteousness and do not let it go. My heart does not reproach me for days. Though you slay me, still I will praise you.

I tried soaking in warm water, hoping to relieve muscle tension. It did...but afterwards, I could barely get up and put on clothes. My sweet cousin comes home and finds me in this physical condition. He sat next to me and prayed. He gave me ibuprofen, tea, and water. I finally slept for five hours and woke up with the same temperature and no muscle pain.

The majority of the pain happened before and during church service. It took three days to fully heal.

After physical restoration, mother called me and offered resignation back home. She justified her "wisdom" with maternal instincts. She's my mother and she wants safety for her little girl. Her plea lasted ten minutes.

I eventually refuted, "Mom, I know you mean well and you've walked alongside my trials. I love you for all of that and more. Yes, all of this is scary. Yes, I'm pretty uncomfortable. But in no way will I give up after being scorched by a blow torch. Don't you see how threatened the enemy is by me? If he weren't he wouldn't bother tormenting me! He hates me and doesn't want me here! If anything, the past two and a half weeks are confirmation that I need to be here! Don't try tempting me with that option! Giving up is not an option!"

She calmed down and apologized. I apologized for blowing up. We've moved on.

This is barely the beginning. The Christian ministry life created a large target on my back. Arrows and spears may aim at the target, but my faith shield guards me. No weapon formed against me will prosper. May we receive this truth as we walk together towards Jesus Christ.

Evangelizing to Skateboarders Part 2

ME: So uh...how big is that bowl?

Skateboarder 1: Like 15 feet deep...

ME: Looks scary. 

Skateboarder 1: Yeah it's basically like a swimming pool. At first, I was also scared. But now it's like riding a rollercoaster. It's super fun, exhilarating, and addictive.

ME: Whoa...

Skateboarder 1: Did you want to get into skating?

ME: No...it just looks super fun. My brother was super into skateboarding back in the days...he'd love this park. 

Skateboarder 1: Oh cool. How old is your brother?

ME: Like 20. I remembered how expensive this sport is. He kept breaking his decks and buying new ones. How much are decks now?

Skateboarder 2: They run for like $50. 

ME: Yeah...can't afford that. I remembered when they were $40 and I thought that was outrageous. 

Skateboarder 1: Well yeah...it's a fun sport. Skateboarding also gives us an excuse to hang with each other.

More small talk and getting acquainted... 

ME: I have to ask...is there a lot of drugs in the skateboarding community? My brother was in the skateboard community and had addiction problems. So I'm wondering if the skateboard community introduced drugs to him.

Skateboarder 2: Oh wow...that really really sucks. But to answer your question...not really. 

Skateboarder 3: I mean, there's weed but that's basically it. 

Four of the skateboarders leave. It's just me and Skateboarder 2.

Skateboarder 2: I mean I've seen some kids do ecstasy and my friend was introduced to a hardcore drug. But yeah the only drug I really see is weed.

ME: I'm confident that weed is a gateway drug.

Skateboarder 2: Yeah I mean, honestly some of these guys smoke weed. One of my buddies says it's not addicting, but he has to smoke it every day...so yeah I agree with you.  

ME: He's just fooling himself.

Skateboarder 2: I know. My friend was a strong-willed guy and started smoking weed. Weed introduced him to meth...and he got addicted. 

ME: Wow. I'm so sorry. The first hit is always a choice. Yet drugs rob free will and you can't control yourself. The hits after are out of your control. Your addiction controls you. Addictions are a form of slavery.

Skateboarder 2: You learned this from watching your brother?

ME: Yeah...

Skateboarder 2: My friend began selling. He didn't like who he was becoming and wanted out. He needed $600 to get out. I said, "If $600 gets you out, then I'll help you." I gave him $600, and he's been clean since. 

ME: You did that for him? Wow...you're such a good friend...

Skateboarder 2: He went to me instead of parents or siblings. I haven't really talked about it...none of these guys know. To this day, he tries buying me food and never stops thanking me. I never wanted him to pay me back. It's no big deal honestly...I just care and want what's best for him.

ME: I'm here with my church, celebrating our year long anniversary. We're Christian. You may not be religious or Christian, but your story is an accurate picture of the gospel. We as Christians, share the gospel and attempt living out the gospel in our everyday lives. We strive to be someone like you.

Skateboarder 2: People just need to know you care I guess...

ME: Well...yeah my church is celebrating our anniversary and we have many leftover Subway sandwiches. Do you think you and your friends would want some? 

Skateboarder 2: Yeah we would LOVE that!

ME: Okay I'll be right back!

I asked our admin if I can give Subway to skateboarders. She was like, "YEAH TOTALLY". I came back with a platter of Subway sandwiches. They reached through the fence and grabbed sandwiches for themselves. They all thanked me.

ME: So yeah! Come to our church if you have free Sundays! We meet at West LA College at 10AM. 

Skateboarder 1: Oh yeah! That's like right down the street.

Skateboarder 2: Do you guys want to go to church next week?

Skateboarder 3: *shrugs* Sure!

ME: WOOHOO! Okay...well I'm going to leave this sandwich platter here. Eat as much as you want and hopefully I'll see you guys next week!

I exeunt.

Evangelizing to Skateboarders Part 1

It was Renew's One Year Anniversary Celebration. Our congregation rested in the park benches, munching merrily on Subway sandwiches and potato chips.

The church kids recruited me into their basketball game. I wore cowgirl boots, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and a fitted skirt...this was going to suck. I followed the kids to the basketball court and began hiking up a hill behind the playground.

To the right of the playground was a massive skate park. The gray concreted park surrounded itself with a light turquoise fence. Within the fence contained waxed-covered rails, stairs, and a massive fifteen-foot deep skate bowl. I paused. A group of young men circled around the skate bowl. I stopped hiking towards the basketball courts. I just stood there and watched the young men surround the skate bowl.

One of the church kids screamed, "Auntie Taylor, what are you doing?"

"Oh...just watching these guys skateboard. I think I need to talk to them...like evangelize...I'll be right back!"

I ran back to the park benches and panicked. I needed to talk to them, but had no courage or boldness to do it. I paced aimlessly like a headless chicken. God give me strength, courage, and boldness to talk to these people. Please. Please. Please.

I walked toward the skatepark again and gleaned through the fence. I stood next to the fence for two minutes, completely silent. Frozen. I can't do this. I'm going back to basketball.

Four church kids and a friend waited patiently on the basketball court for me. My friend said, "I asked the kids, 'Where's Taylor?' and they responded, 'Probably evangelizing to the skateboarders...'".

"HAHA!", I replied. "If only...I really want to, but I don't have courage."

"Well...maybe after this game I'll go with you," he offered.

"Really?!" I jumped up and down with a Cheshire cat smile. "HOORAY let's do this!"

I took off my cowgirl boots and pulled up my sleeves. In my skirt and socks, I scored 4 of the 6 points to win the game. After we won, my friend took back his offer. He actually needed to go home...oh well...back to square one.

The church kids asked if I were still evangelizing to the skateboarders. I replied, "Well I want to, but I'm scared." One of the girls said, "Don't be scared. Remember? 'Be strong in the Lord and the strength of his might.' You can do it Auntie Taylor."

I walked the kids back to the park benches, then began pacing back and forth. I inhaled and exhaled deep breaths with my hands on my forehead. Okay Taylor. God has you. Walk towards them and in His confidence.

Next thing I knew, I was standing behind five skateboarders and asked, "So uh...how deep is that bowl?"

Confusion

Me: Hey James, I need new video ideas for my YouTube channel. My target audience is now teens instead of women. What should my next series be about?

James (my teenage cousin): What do you mean?

Me: Like, what do Christian teenagers want to know about?

James: Confusion...do a series about confusion!

Me: What do you mean?

James: I don't know...

His Grace

God: Hey Taylor!

Me: Oh hey God! What's up?

God: I notice you're writing another blog post.

Me: Yeah...I'm not correctly completing thoughts, so I thought I'd move on and do something else.

God: Do you notice something with your writing?

Me: Well yeah...even with video scripts, I can't seem to finish or start thoughts. Last year, we were so creative. We wrote video series, launched YouTube videos, brainstormed lesson plans, etc. It was so fun, God! I have that same overflowing desire to share your wisdom. Yet all thoughts seemed locked in a vault.

God: I know.

Me: I'm trying to open the vault: keys, codes, hacksaws, chainsaws, etc. It won't open!

God: I know.

Me: Why?!?!

God: Well Taylor, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Me: What do you mean?

God: Only I can open the doors to your creativity. I type on your computer through your fingers. When I lock the doors or halt your typing fingers, I'm shifting your attention to somewhere else (at least temporarily).

Me: Where?

God: Your vivid imagination is an extension of my grace. Keyword: extension, implying it came from someone/something else. That someone else is me. That something else is my grace.  You forgot the root of all blessings, Taylor: myself and my grace.

Me: I'm sorry...I'll stop kicking locked doors...not like I can open them anyway...instead, may I solely rest in you and your grace. 

God: Good girl. My power is made perfect in your weakness.

THE END

P.S: None of the above are a Biblical extensions. It's all my imagination!

Journey to the Present Part 3

After that voicemail, I was so confused.

Why Lord, would you change my life course, leading only to a dead end? Is this a sick joke? How could you lead me towards rejection? 

I immediately contacted the Every Nation Campus pastors about this. They agreed to meet me on campus. I shared the voicemail and they were super confused.

They said, "You applied to a Christian organization where you'd basically work for free, and they denied you? You. If anything, you're over-qualified! They clearly don't see what God sees. This is great!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well we'd love to have you join Every Nation Movement. You'd do everything that organization wanted you to do, but work under your home church. Talk about it with your senior pastor."

I told the pastor's wife the bad news. Conveniently, dinner with the pastor's family was already scheduled for the weekend. We haven't had time to catch up, so I never got the chance to share my journey.

At dinner, I told them everything since Part One. My pastor's response was, "If you told me you were going to apply for this job and support raise, I would have stopped you. I'd rather you build Youth Ministry for Renew under me instead of an outside organization. We'd love to have you work for us."

WAT?!?!

"We see your heart for the Lord, and how you serve 110% in every mundane task. The kids love you and we'd love to have you "

"OHH...well if I were to be honest, I only wanted that job to help expand our church."

It all made sense...This youth ministry organization shifted me towards God's direction. If they never approached me, I would never consider support raising or youth ministry. I changed my life course for that youth ministry organization, but I was never supposed to work for them. This was all God's primer for what he really wanted for me.

If it weren't for their rejection, I'd never begin building Youth Ministry for Renew Church LA.

And here we are now!